Four Ways to Reclaim Your Attention
I grew up in a world where childhood meant hours outside with friends, pickup basketball games until the streetlights flickered on, scraped knees, and laughter that carried down the block. What was normal for my generation has sadly become abnormal today. But we’re trying to bring it back.
We’re already having the “phone” conversation with our seven-year-old daughter who tells us some of her friends already have smartphones. We know we’re in for a battle — but it’s one we’re willing to fight. This battle is not between us and our daughter. And it’s not just about a phone. It’s much bigger than that.
It’s a battle for her childhood.
It’s a battle for her attention.
It’s a battle for her soul.
The Book That Rewired My Thinking
A few months ago, I read a book that has stayed with me — The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. It’s one of those books that changes the way you see everything.
Haidt describes what he calls “the great rewiring of childhood.” Around the early 2010s, something shifted. Kids stopped spending most of their time playing in the real world and started living in the digital one. A majority of the book is Haidt going on to talk about why that is so dangerous. In the book, he says, “Play is the work of childhood, and all young mammals have the same job: wire up your brain by playing vigorously and often.”
In other words, childhood used to be play-based — filled with unstructured adventure, risk, and imagination. But in just a few years, it became phone-based — curated, comparative, and screen-saturated. Haidt goes on to talk about how of all the potential links that could be made to an astronomical spike in anxiety and other mental health related issues among teenagers, there was one that stood out above the rest: phones.
And it’s not just kids who have been rewired. Adults have too.
Revisiting My Digital Detox
I’ve had a love–hate relationship with my phone for years. It’s a necessity for my work — but it’s also a constant stumbling block for my attention.
About five years ago, I took drastic measures to limit my phone use, and the results were immediate. I noticed deeper focus, stronger relationships, and greater productivity. The time I would usually spending scrolling aimlessly on my phone became sacred times of prayer, connection, or silence… Yes, silence. In many ways, that period of time brought me to life in new ways. God used it to birth new dreams and draw me back into deeper relationship with him. Somewhere along the way, those boundaries faded.
After reading Haidt’s book, I knew it was time to revisit them.
Over the last several weeks, I have been taking inventory of my phone and technology usage. Sure, I still need access to social media for work purposes and I truly do enjoy many aspects of social media. However, I needed to take some serious steps toward redirecting my attention and my heart.
After reading Haidt’s book, I knew it was time to make a few changes — small, intentional shifts to help me slow down, reclaim focus, and be more present with God and my family:
One hour of social media per day. Boundaries create breathing room — and this one keeps me from falling into endless scrolling.
Nighttime and morning lockout. From 9:30 p.m. – 7:30 a.m., the only apps I can open are my Bible app and Spotify. Those hours have become some of my most peaceful and prayerful.
More time with Jesus. I’ve been using the extra space for journaling, reading Scripture, and listening to worship music — letting quiet replace constant noise.
Sudoku over scrolling. Most nights, my wife and I trade screens for a puzzle — something slow, shared, and real.
Undistracted movies. We’ve watched a few movies lately without touching our phones, and it’s reminded me how good it feels to be fully present.
Even over a short period of time, it’s making a big impact in my life. Here’s a quote from the book that has stood out:
“If we want a less anxious generation, we must give kids back their childhood — and give ourselves back our attention.” – Jonathan Haidt
These small changes have reminded me that attention doesn’t drift on accident — it’s directed by what we choose to give ourselves to. Our habits shape our hearts, our focus, and our relationships.
If you’ve been feeling the same pull toward distraction, here are a few simple ways to start reclaiming your own attention and rediscovering a more grounded, joy-filled life:
Four Ways to Reclaim Real Life
1️⃣ Own your attention.
Create phone-free zones. Don’t check your phone for the first hour of the day or during dinner. Attention is your most valuable resource — spend it intentionally.
2️⃣ Crave what’s real.
Invest in real-world connection. Gather with friends. Serve. Play. Laugh. Worship. Life happens offline.
3️⃣ Curate your digital life.
Delete what drains you, keep what connects you. Turn off notifications. Even small steps retrain your brain.
4️⃣ Relearn play.
Do something purely for joy — take a walk, play a game, build something, or embrace boredom. Boredom often births creativity.
We may have grown up rewired, but we don’t have to stay distracted.
The more virtual our world becomes, the more we crave what’s real.
Maybe it’s time to put down the phone and pick up a puzzle.
Get a copy of The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
