Called Together: Embracing Ministry as a Family
Not every ministry family looks the same. And thank God for that.
Some spouses share a stage. Some sit together, front and center. Others sit in the middle of the room, clutching coffee and wrangling toddlers. Some feel like they were born for this, others feel like they were dragged into it — and still others feel called, but just plain tired.
Our family doesn’t fit a perfect mold, but we’ve learned to embrace our calling together — messy seasons and all.
When Taylor and I first got married, we were both passionate about college ministry. In fact, our shared sense of calling was one of the factors that drew us together. While I served as a campus pastor at NDSU, we hosted students, helped move them into dorms, welcomed teams into our tiny apartment, and even taught together on occasion. We were a team. It was fun. And it felt like something we could do forever.
As our family grew, our ministry rhythm shifted.
We still had the same heart, but the way we served began to look different. Late nights became trickier, and flexibility mattered more. We brought Kinsley along when we could, but we also had to adjust because let’s face it — an infant in a worship gathering at 9:00pm is not always a joyful noise. There were moments of miscommunication and unmet expectations — times we had to learn how to give each other more grace. But through it all, we stayed committed to the calling God placed on our family. It just took on a new shape. We kept showing up and doing our best with what we had.
When we moved to New Jersey, our ministry role shifted into more of a structured 9-to-5 rhythm as I went to work for a Christian non-profit. That space gave us the gift of recalibrating our marriage, rediscovering our family values, and reframing how we did ministry — together and individually. It wasn’t flashy, but it was transformational. It was a time of realizing the unhealthy rhythms and expectations that had been formed. It was a time of healing…and forgiving. It was the fresh start we had no idea we needed.
When we moved back to North Dakota in 2021, we stepped into a new season that eventually led to a role back in full-time ministry — serving our local church. It gave us a fresh opportunity to reimagine what ministry as a family could look like. Taylor isn’t on stage with me, but she’s deeply invested in our shared calling. You’ll find her in the middle row, sipping a coffee that made her a few minutes late, sitting alongside friends from our life group and making people feel at home with her presence. For a season, she served regularly in the church coffee shop, but when our youngest was born, we reevaluated our rhythms and she stepped away to focus on our family’s needs. I’m grateful for how she models faithfulness behind the scenes — quietly, intentionally, and wholeheartedly.
Ministry for us goes well beyond the walls of our church building. It looks like building relationships with our neighbors, bringing our kids along when it works, and praying for one another as we go. It’s not picture-perfect, but it’s full of purpose.
As we’ve grown through different seasons, we’ve realized that if we want to live this out well, we need to be intentional. We don’t just want to hope our kids catch the heart of following Jesus — we want to cast vision, speak life, and lead with clarity. So I’ve set some goals to guide our family in this calling:
That our kids would grow up passionately following Jesus, not just going through the motions.
That they would love, value, and serve the local church — not out of obligation, but joy.
That they would be senders — empowering, encouraging, and praying for others in the work of ministry, including their dad.
That our kids would never confuse “ministry” for full-time church employment.
That Taylor and I would love each other more — and love Jesus more — at the end of every year.
And through it all, we stay focused on our family calling and mission: to equip ordinary people to live their everyday lives to the fullest — pointing them to Jesus and encouraging them to live for Him wherever they are. We stay focused on that mission on Sundays and beyond.
So here’s my advice to any family figuring out what ministry looks like for them:
1. Be a praying family.
Let your kids hear you talk to God — about your family, your church, your neighbors, and the ministry work you’re a part of. Pray before meals, in the car, and during bedtime. But go beyond the routine prayers — pray for the people you’re serving, the events coming up, and church staff. Prayer plants vision in your home and cultivates hearts that care. It shifts your family from watching ministry happen to participating in it.
2. Be a sending family.
When one person steps out to serve, the whole family plays a role. Maybe that looks like praying before someone leaves, cleaning up dinner early, or holding down the fort at home so someone else can go. Commission each other, cheer one another on, and remind your kids (and yourself) that sending is just as spiritual as going. We don't all carry the mic — but we all carry the mission.
3. Be an encouraging family.
Ministry can be discouraging. You see people at their best… and their worst. But your home can be a place of refreshing. Speak life over each other, especially after ministry activities. Celebrate the unseen. Say “thank you” to the person who picked up the slack so ministry could happen. Call out the good in each other — especially when you’re tempted to nitpick. Encouragement doesn’t just lift spirits — it builds culture. Don’t just encourage each other — encourage those around you!
4. Fight for your family.
Ministry should never come at the expense of your home. That might mean turning down “good” opportunities to protect your most important relationships. Set boundaries, honor the Sabbath, protect time together, and be willing to say, “This matters too much to sacrifice.” Your first calling is to love and lead the people under your own roof — and that kind of faithfulness speaks volumes.
5. Include your family.
Find ways to bring your kids along. Let them help greet, hand out donuts, clean up after an event, or just be present with you at events. Let them see what it means to serve with a joyful heart. When kids feel like they’re part of something bigger than themselves, their hearts start to grow with vision and ownership. With young kids, I like to pick them up from Kids Church and have them hang out with me in the lobbies, greeting people, between services.
6. Cast vision.
Don’t assume your kids or spouse know why you’re doing what you’re doing — tell them. Before events or commitments, take a minute to share the “why.” Help them get excited about what God is doing. When kids see ministry as a mission — not a disruption — they begin to understand their own role in God’s story. Vision turns sacrifice into purpose. Our two-year old Rowan was sitting with mom in service recently and saw me on stage and said, “Daddy’s telling people about Jesus!” He has heard his mom and older siblings say that many times…
7. Stop comparing.
Seriously. God didn’t call your family to copy someone else’s Instagram version of ministry. Some families serve together on stage. Others in the lobby. Some lead small groups while holding a baby in one arm. Ministry doesn’t have to look a certain way to be real or powerful. Whether you’re hosting a house full of teenagers or showing up exhausted to a Sunday service with cereal in your hair — your obedience still matters.
8. Cheer On Eachother’s Callings
Celebrate how each family member is uniquely wired and gifted to serve. With young children, start to make note of giftings and passions from a young age. Like Mary noticing the anointing and calling of Jesus, hold them like secret treasures in your heart (Luke 2:19). Pray over your children. Call out giftings in each member in your family and refuse to put people in a box or believe that the pinnacle achievement in life is to be in full-time (vocational ministry). No, simply desire your children to passionately follow Jesus, live for him, and use their gifts to serve others and build the kingdom — within the church walls and beyond.
9. Prioritize a Rhythm of Rest (Sabbath).
Your family’s soul health matters just as much as our service. Ministry can be demanding and it can come with sacrifice. However, refuse to sacrifice Sabbath rest. God, in his divine wisdom, knew that we would struggle with accepting our limits and surrendering our work to him. That’s why his instruction is to remember the Sabbath, to keep it Holy (Exodus 20:8). Prioritize one day each week for Sabbath rest — enjoy nature, spend extra time with God, sleep in, eat yummy snacks, limit screen use, love on your people. We (try to) practice Sabbath from dinner on Friday night until Saturday evening.
10. Live Missionally for Jesus in Your Everyday Lives.
Your calling as a family goes beyond Sundays and the walls of a church building. Prioritize raising kingdom-minded kids — who see the world through a Jesus lens and want to be a light wherever they go: school, sports, friend groups. Choose to live missionally in everything you do — on the sidelines at soccer, in the pick-up line, at the grocery store, and in your neighborhood. If you have kids, they’ll recognize that following Jesus is not confined to a job.
Doing ministry as a family isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being present, being prayerful, and staying focused on the mission God has given your home.
Let go of the pressure to look a certain way. Embrace your calling. And live it out — together.
“But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15
Whether it’s in the middle row with coffee in hand, on a stage, or chasing toddlers in the church lobby — your faithfulness matters.
You don’t need a spotlight or a position to make an impact. Just a surrendered heart, an open home, and a willingness to say, “Here we are, Lord—use us.”